The Vaguest of Feelings
by keir
Summary: HaruxKyou Yuki voyeur / Haru and Kyou get together to watch some dirty video tapes without knowing that they're being watched. R for swearing and sexual situations


Title: The Vaguest of Feelings

Author: Keir

Rating: R for swearing and smexual situations, oh yes.

The Gist of Things: Haru and Kyou get together to watch some dirty video tapes without knowing that they're being watched.

A/N: Couple things about this one. Haru and Kyou aren't dating and aren't even thinking about each other that way at the beginning of this story. Yuki, Kyou, Haru, and Momiji are all in college as well; Yuki and Kyou share a one bedroom apartment and Haru and Momiji share a dorm room.

This one came out completely different than what I was originally thinking. I would dedicate this to someone, only I'm not sure anyone would want this one dedicated to them? Haha! A little bit different than other HxK stories I've written (I think).

* * *

Kyou lifted the collar of the shirt away from his body, fluttered the material to try to create a little breeze. He felt another bead of sweat run down his chest and sighed. He lifted the bottom of his shirt and stuck his cold beer underneath, rolled it across his stomach to try to cool his skin off. The sun would be setting in a couple hours and he was dying for what little cool air the night would bring.

The doorbell rang and he stood, answered the door to his and Yuki's one bedroom apartment. Hatsuharu stood outside, tall and lithe and as put together as the rat, as always. The cat scowled. So what if the stupid cow was in skin-hugging jeans, a sleeveless t-shirt, and had an abundance of necklaces gathered around his throat, looking like he had just stepped out of a fashion ad? The fact that he was suddenly self-conscience about the ratty old workout shirt and shorts he was wearing made him even more annoyed.

Ever since he had met Tohru he had somehow become painfully self-conscious and…something.

"Kyou?" the other boy asked expectantly, that small, teasing smile on his face.

Shy, the word came to him. He scowled and huffed out a sigh, stepping aside to let the ox in.

"Where's Yuki?"

Kyou grumbled under his breath about _that damn rat_, waved a hand at the single bedroom. "He's sick or whatever. Don't wake him up; he gets all pissy." The ox nodded. Even his amiability was getting on Kyou's nerves. The cat stalked to the fridge, pulled out another beer. "You want one?"

"No, thank you." The grumpy boy grunted, walked to the couch and collapsed back into his normal seat. "How have classes been?"

"Who cares?" Kyou said, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. His crimson eyes locked onto grey ones without hesitation. "Look, we're not friends or whatever. I'm not Yuki so I don't care about you chatting me up or anything. Let's just watch what you brought."

Hatsuharu simply nodded and walked toward where the small television was set up on an overturned milk crate, the DVD player set on top. He paused. "Is it okay to do this with Yuki here? You said he'd be gone."

Kyou waved a hand dismissively. "It's not my fault he got sick; he was supposed to be out with some study group tonight. Anyway, it doesn't matter if _the Prince_ is here."

The ox shrugged and opened the DVD player, put the CD in the tray, and took a seat on the sofa. The cat's lip lifted in annoyance and he shifted further away from the younger boy. "What are we watching, anyway?"

"I put together a bunch of video clips that I liked."

The cat grunted and lifted his beer to his lips, chugged half of it with a sigh. It was too damn hot and the alcohol sat heavily in his belly. He leaned against the arm of the couch, settling in as the video started.

Sure enough, just like Haru, it was blunt and to the point. There was none of that kissing and giggling and crap, just straight to the sex. The guy had some girl bent over a couch and was pounding away. The cat scowled; just like the stupid ox to like watching some big-titted bimbo. Her squealing was incessant and set him on edge.

He remembered how he had ended up agreeing to watch porn with Hatsuharu. They had been out playing pool somewhere, mostly because the ox was the only cousin that would willingly spend any time around him. It had been a bad day, just like most of the cat's days, and he had needed to blow off some steam. He had just happened to run into Hatsuharu outside the library and the younger boy had just happened to agree to go play pool.

Somehow the conversation had turned to girls or something, the ox talking about feeling guilty for bringing his dates back to the dorm room he shared with Momiji. Kyou had made some offhand comment about how annoying it was to always have Yuki around, how annoying it was to not be able to just rub one out because the rat always seemed to be there. One thing somehow led to another with their mutual agreement to both have a "private" moment set aside to just get it off their chests without interruption.

The cat drained the rest of his beer and stood to get another, grabbing two while he was at it so he wouldn't have to get up again. The video had changed by the time he got back, another girl who suspiciously resembled Rin on her knees in front of a man. Kyou averted his eyes for most of it. It wasn't like he was some damn prude like Yuki, but the girl just looked so damn much like the horse and he would be damned if he got a stiffy from girl who looked like that bitch.

He drank another beer to pass the time, shifting uncomfortably. There was a single fan in the apartment and the Prince had stolen it for his own comfort. The sweat had been rolling off the cat all day without respite.

The next video startled the cat and he nearly choked on his beer. The guy was doing it to the girl _there_, in a place it was most definitely not supposed to go. He watched in horrified fascination for a moment as it went in the wrong whole before looking away. He thought about telling the ox that he was a pervert, but he held it in. This was supposed to be for them both to blow off some steam, not judge each other.

His eyes flicked to the other boy and widened. All thoughts of being nonjudgmental fled. The ox's hand was down his pants and it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was doing. "Can't you just wait to wank it in the bathroom afterward?" the cat hissed, disturbed that the younger boy was doing _that_ right next to him.

"Sorry, I thought you'd be okay with it," Hatsuharu said apologetically, sliding his hand out from his pants.

"Well, I'm not okay with it. If you want to play with yourself, do it in the bathroom." The ox apologized again, but the cat's face was already turned away. Why the hell would Haru think it was okay to do that around him? It's not like they were buddies or close or anything. And how the hell had he gotten his hand inside those ridiculously tight pants?

Kyou growled at the thought in his head and viciously chugged the fourth beer, heading into the kitchen for another. He stalked back into the living room soon after, oblivious to grey eyes following him. He drank deeply from the cold can in his hand, briefly thought that he should have grabbed an extra. He tried to shake off his own distracting thoughts as he felt the warmth spread through his abdomen, the alcohol finally reaching a point where he had stopped noticing how hot and sweaty he was.

He settled back with his drink resting coolly against his thigh to watch the next video that had started moments before. The man's hand was buried in almost shoulder length blond hair as he kissed the girl, whose back was to the camera. The cat felt better about this particular clip already. He liked to see a little foreplay, to see the two people holding each other close, sharing an intimacy even if it was an illusion.

Shame burned in his chest. He was so stupid, thinking like a damn girl. It's not like skin felt different if it was on a different part of the body; he could just hold hands or whatever and immediately know what the rest of a person felt like.

So what if he had never had a girlfriend? So what if he had never gotten any play like his younger cousin? It's not like it was that much different than his own hand.

He muttered a curse and drank the rest of his beer, looked over to find Hatsuharu staring at him. "What?" he demanded angrily.

"Nothing," the ox said, face unreadable.

"Look, you want the bathroom first or second when this is done?" the cat asked.

"You can go first if you want. It's your place."

Kyou grunted, eyes wary. "You can go first," he muttered. If he had to go first, Kyou reasoned with himself, then that pervert was liable to hear him. It would be easier if the ox went first; then he could kick him out and do his business in peace.

The orange-haired boy sighed and turned his attention back to the video. The girl was kissing her way down the guy's stomach, and he seemed to be enjoying it. Then he was shoving the girl over, his body over hers on all fours. The camera panned out and…

A noise of terror caught in the cat's throat. Suddenly what he thought to be a blond girl turned out to be something different. Adam's apple, flat chest…

A second guy! He felt the color drain from his face, fingers clutching at the arm of the couch. The first guy's head was going down, down toward a bulge concealed beneath boxer briefs. Kyou felt his stomach flip. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" he snarled at his younger cousin.

"I'm bi, Kyou, you know that. I thought you knew there would be mixed stuff if I brought something over." The ox said it with such a straight face that it just goaded the cat on.

"Are you kidding me? _Of course I didn't know!_ What the hell is wrong with you!" Kyou recoiled in his seat at the sight of one man going down on another. He shut his eyes tightly but the noise still carried guttural moans to his ears that were unmistakably male. "Turn it off!"

"Kyou…"

"What?" the cat snapped, opening his eyes to glare at his traitorous cousin. The ox was simply staring and the orange-haired boy followed his line of sight to his own crotch where a prominent bulge had formed. Kyou hissed out a breath of air between clenched teeth. "So what? That was from the girls!"

"No, you didn't have a hard-on then," Hatsuharu said matter-of-factly.

"What, you're keeping tabs on that kind of shit now?" the cat practically screeched, completely unmindful of the sleeping rat in the other room.

"It's not hard to notice. Your body wasn't responding until you found out it was two men." Hatsuharu delivered the sentences in his flat voice; the cat couldn't tell if he was making fun of him or not.

The ox quickly found his shirt in the grip of the older boy, who was leaning over him with a fierce snarl. "Did Yuki put you up to this?" The black and white-haired boy blinked in confusion. Kyou shook him. "Did fucking Yuki put you up to this!"

"No, I…"

"I get it, all right?" the cat seethed, letting go of the ox's shirt. "I get it. I must be gay because I've never had a girlfriend, is that it? You think it's funny?"

Hatsuharu's look remained curious. "You've never had a girlfriend?"

The cat quickly recovered, the hurt in his eyes flickering there for only a moment. "So you are making fun of me. Get out!"

"How would I know if you've ever had a girlfriend or not, Kyou? You're a very private person. You don't talk to anybody." The cat stared at him. "I didn't mean to upset you."

In the face of a sincere apology, Kyou had no idea what to do. His hand went to the back of his head, fingers entangling in sweaty orange hair, his eyes averted. "Sorry," he mumbled. He suddenly realized the video was still going and blanched at the noises coming through the speakers. "Just go home, Haru."

The cat had turned to leave when fingers wrapped around his wrist, tugging gently. "We still haven't finished here."

Kyou tried to shake the younger boy off. "Whatever, idiot. You ruined it all, so just go home!"

But the ox persisted, fingers still holding tightly to a tan arm. "Even if you're not gay, Kyou, we could both do something for each other. Something we'd both like," Hatsuharu suggested vaguely.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" the cat asked, shamed at his intrigue, arms limp at his sides.

"I could show you what it's like to have someone else do it to you." The cat's eyes widened then narrowed, his teeth bared. "What is there to lose? No one else is here, it's private. I wouldn't tell anyone. Aren't you the least bit curious?"

Kyou wet his lips with his tongue, the pit of his stomach burning. "We can't do that. It's disgusting."

Hatsuharu shrugged. "It's just like masturbating, just someone else's hand." The cat blushed lightly as the ox stated something vulgar as if it were something commonplace. Without warning, a pale hand reached out and caressed the tent in the cat's workout shorts. The orange-haired boy's muscles tensed at the sensation.

To be touched as the Cat…

He bit his lip, closed his eyes. "Not a word about this to anyone else or I'll cut off your balls and shove them down your damn throat!" The ox said nothing as he urged the older boy to sit back down.

Kyou found himself stealing a guilty look at the television screen, where the first man was thrusting inside the second. He shut his eyes tightly again, fingers clenching into fists. Disgusting!

Then why did it make him feel this way? He felt the blood rush down there, his erection responding to the images burned behind his eyelids. It was just someone else touching him that was exciting him, the cat told himself. Just because it was Hatsuharu doing the deed didn't mean that he didn't like girls or whatever. He hadn't even been kissed, let alone _this_.

Stupid ox.

The black and white-haired boy was running his fingers gently over the bulge in the other's shorts, teasing. He had seen the cat's guilty glance at the pornography. "You can watch it if you want. There's no shame in it."

"Of course there's shame in it," Kyou growled, biting his bottom lip over and over to try to keep himself sane.

"All bodies are pleasurable; it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman." Hatsuharu's hands were working the shorts downward.

"Trust you to have a screwed-up sense of right and wrong." His breathing came shorter as his erection was exposed to the humid air. Hatsuharu's hand immediately gripped the shaft with no pretense. Kyou jerked back against the arm of the sofa, legs trying to curl up to protect himself. "Don't just grab it like that!"

"Why?"

"You can't just grab it!"

"What should I do with it then?" The ox was almost smirking now, that teasing little smile turning devious.

"I don't know. I'm not a pervert like you," Kyou hissed. "It's not like I go around touching other men."

Hatsuharu tilted his head, look contemplative. "This is the first time I've touched another man." The cat's mouth opened, gaping at him. "I admit I was also curious what it would feel like." He grasped Kyou's cock again; the orange-haired boy bit savagely at his own lip, leaning back on the heels of his hands.

The ox smoothed his thumb up the underside, feeling how soft the skin was. It ran up and over the head, smeared one drop of precum down the side. He studied the flushed tissue, the shape of everything, how the length of it was slightly curved upward.

"You don't have to stare at it. It's not like you don't have one of your own."

"Mine doesn't look like yours, though." The ox leaned back, briefly taking time to shimmy out of his skin-tight pants. Kyou's severely-abused lip was near bleeding as he bit down once again. The ox was right; his was different. Whereas the cat's own erection was flushed red, the ox's was still pale with a faint blush of pink around the head. Hatsuharu's was straight and more broad, his pubic hair kept neatly trimmed where Kyou had never spared a thought for how his looked.

The cat growled as he realized he was staring at the ox's manhood and that the other boy was staring back at him with an air of unconcern, as if it were common and everyday to get naked with another male cousin. He almost lost his nerve, but soon Hatsuharu's hand was wrapped around him again, and with stronger intent. The strokes were tighter now, smoothly up and down the shaft. Kyou panted under the assault, annoyed in the back of his mind that he could be reduced to some mindless idiot like this.

After a minute the ox's hand slowed. "What now?" the cat snapped, eager to have this over and done with so they could never speak about it again.

"Aren't you going to touch me?" Grey eyes were questioning and the ox tilted his head slightly to the side.

"Are you stupid?" Kyou blurted out, looking affronted. "I never said I would touch you!"

"That's fair, I suppose," the ox murmured.

The cat was disconcerted by the almost mournful look in the younger boy's eyes. He pushed Hatsuharu's hand away, pulling his legs in closer to his body again. "Maybe we should stop right here. You know what it feels like, I know what it feels like. This is…" He looked away.

"There's no reason not to finish. You don't have to touch me. Let me make you come." The cat shivered at the dirty request and slowly nodded his assent, unable to look as he spread his legs.

Hatsuharu's hand wrapped around the cat's cock once more, but this time he focused on the head. The results were satisfying as Kyou's body jerked and a small moan escaped his lips. He rubbed a thumb roughly over the slit and the cat cried out louder. "S-Stop!" the orange-haired boy suddenly demanded.

The ox stopped but didn't remove his hand. He waited for the other boy to gather himself, to open those crimson eyes with that direct look that was purely Kyou. "Let me…" The orange-haired boy looked guilty. "Let me touch you."

* * *

Yuki was in a foggy haze, his mind still half-asleep. The heat had been particularly awful that day and his body hadn't been able to take it. The breeze from the one fan carried over his bare chest, but it wasn't enough to relieve the exhausting heat.

His chapped lips parted. He swallowed, trying to alleviate the dryness in his throat. He needed a glass of ice water.

His long, slim legs swung over the edge of the bed and he managed to groggily get to his feet. He was aware of whispering voices outside in the living room. Kyou must be yelling at a video game or television program again, he thought.

Yuki made his way slowly, step by step to the doorway. It seemed to be even harder today to wake up fully because of the humid heat. His hand on the doorknob was slick with sweat. He pulled the door to and went to walk into the living room when he stopped dead.

Suddenly he was almost wide awake, amethyst eyes staring.

Kyou had his back pressed against one arm of the couch, naked below the waist. Hatsuharu was kneeling between his legs in the same state of nudity, an intent look on his face as sweat slid down his temple. He couldn't be sure because Kyou's limbs were in the way of any decent view, but he was quite sure that those tan fingers were wrapped around a certain ox's member, and he was pretty sure that the ox was returning the favor with the way the cat was moaning.

No, that wasn't entirely correct. It wasn't Kyou's moans he heard; he was quite used to the sound of the cat in the throes of passion when he had a wet dream. These moans were breathier, an octave higher. Yuki finally came to the realization that the sounds were coming from the television and that the two must have been watching pornography.

Yuki didn't really know what to think at that point. Two of his male cousins were watching porn in his living room and doing blatantly sexual things to each other. He wondered how long this had been going on. Thinking about it, Haru was the only one Kyou ever seemed to spend any amount of time around any more…

Kyou arched, back bowing upward. His head fell back, the look on his face a mix between a grimace and ecstasy. He made an odd sound somewhere between an exhalation of breath and a deep, masculine groan. Hatsuharu seemed even more intent and he apparently gave the cat a repeat performance as the same sound was produced again.

Yuki felt himself harden. He knew he should feel ashamed or even guilty for spying on this moment, but in his half-asleep state the realization didn't really reach his mind. The fact was that his cousins were beautiful. Well, not really; Kyou was the most annoying person he had ever had the misfortune of meeting, with the worst disposition and a horrible macho complex. Hatsuharu mostly just followed the rat around, clinging yet silent, which eventually rubbed at Yuki's nerves.

But right now they were beautiful in their shared passion in a dim living room with porn on in the background.

Yuki felt his hand stray into his boxer briefs and let it happen. His mind wasn't quite in the zone of comprehension yet, just instincts, and his fingers wrapped around his length felt so good. His other hand pulled down the edge of his underwear to release his cock to the hot air as he caressed it. Kyou was squirming now with nowhere to go but to fall on the floor, Haru pressing his advantageous position above him. Yuki had somehow never seen Haru as an aggressive lover; Kyou he could never see making love at all.

The rat's hand rubbed tentatively at first to build the pressure, progressing to a much rougher touch as the scene unfolded before him.

* * *

"Cut it out!" Kyou hissed, bucking his hips and leaning his shoulders over the armrest.

"If you keep moving like that I'll never get you to come."

"I don't care! Stop touching me there!" The cat's cheeks felt like they were on fire. The ox had reached devious, slender fingers down to rub against the cat's anus. How dirty. And perverted.

And wonderful.

Kyou hissed at himself for thinking about it. So what if it had felt good, had sent little electric thrills up his body? It was still disgusting! The sounds were just as embarrassing as being touched _there_. "Don't do it again!"

"All right."

"Look, maybe one of us should make the other come first. That way we aren't getting in each other's way or whatever."

"Do you want to go first or second?" Hatsuharu asked with that little teasing smile.

"I'll just go second," Kyou snapped. The cat grasped the ox's cock tightly and started stroking, then stopped with a scowl. He brought his palm up and spit in it, reached back down and reaffirmed his grip. The saliva soon coated Hatsuharu's blushing erection for a smoother effort. He made a small noise of appreciation.

The cat worked the length in his hand, up and down, up and down. He pressed harder going down, guessing that it might simulate being inside someone. The ox seemed to have no complaints about the technique. Within a couple minutes Hatsuharu was breathing heavily, head bowed. Kyou pushed his fingertips against the underside of the cock in his hand and rubbed vigorously at the base.

Hatsuharu gasped, one hand bracing himself on Kyou's shoulder. His hips jerked forward slightly as he came, the cat halfheartedly milking him now. Eventually his eyes opened again to see crimson ones widened almost comically. His come was spattered all over tan hand, thighs and stomach.

"You came a lot," Kyou whispered, shocked. He had never come more than a few shots, but Hatsuharu's orgasm had carried on and on…it was so much come.

And it was all over him.

He didn't have time to let shame settle over him as the ox grasped him and began pumping. His body slumped against the armrest, fingers clutching desperately at fabric and the ox's arm. Hatsuharu was using his own come as lubricant to jack Kyou off and it made the cat feel even dirtier.

One hand was rubbing at the tan thigh, slowly pressing on it to make the cat spread his legs further. The orange-haired boy was squirming sinfully, his eyes clouded with lust now. Hatsuharu took in the sight, something he was sure he would never see again with Kyou's attitude, and was well-pleased with his choice of partners.

Hatsuharu stroked the cat, keeping him occupied while his second hand traveled downward.

* * *

Yuki worked his length faster, paying special attention to the head as he rubbed his palm roughly over it. The rougher it became, the more he liked it.

Hatsuharu's orgasm had been wonderful. To see the emotion of release on the ox's face had been a nice surprise; it was good to see something other than that neutral look on pale features.

The orgasm itself hadn't been too bad, either. Hatsuharu had given the rat another surprise with the amount of ejaculate he had been able to pump out, and the fact that all that white come had arced out to spatter the cat only made it better. He wished he had a better view of the ox's come across splayed-out thighs.

Then it was Kyou's turn and Yuki found himself even more curious as he began to wake up further. What would the cat be like when he came? He somehow couldn't imagine the annoying, loud-mouthed cat as a cuddler; the image was almost disturbing to the rat. No, afterward Kyou would probably demand that Hatsuharu leave and maybe if they were lovers they would be doing the same thing next week.

Suddenly the cat was arching again and shouting obscenities, hands claw-like as they grasped at the other boy. He twisted and moaned and Yuki wondered just what exactly was making the cat go wild. Soon tan limbs were thrashing and Kyou was tearing at black and white hair, seeming to cry and scream all at the same time, but he seemed to be enjoying it beyond belief.

With a final desperate mewl, Kyou came, his orgasm much shorter than Hatsuharu's, and afterward he collapsed in a heap.

Yuki wrapped his hand as tightly as he could around the head and top of his shaft and humped forward into it. It didn't take long after seeing such a smutty climax by the cat, and he could still hear his little noises, as if he were trying to come down from a great high.

A gasp escaped Yuki's lips as he began ejaculating into his hand.

* * *

Hatsuharu removed his two fingers from Kyou's puckered entrance, feeling slightly guilty for having done something he promised not to do again, but it had been worth it. The cat had completely let go to passion, had let the anger fall to the wayside while his body's instincts took over.

Kyou shuddered, let out a breath, and sat up more. "You _idiot_, I told you—!"

They were interrupted by a loud gasp; the DVD had run out long ago. Kyou's head whipped around to see his nemesis leaning against the doorframe to their shared bedroom, that beautiful, pale face slack in pleasure. The rat's hips were humping forward into his hand, a few bits of come dripping from his fingers.

The cat froze in horror.

"I guess in the end we turned into the porn," Hatsuharu stated, his face neutral. The sound of his voice broke Kyou out of his shock. Amethyst eyes finally opened, their look faraway and glazed from orgasm.

"I can't believe you did that to me!" the cat yelled, leaping off the couch and immediately going for his shorts. He yanked them back on, furious.

"We did it to each other." The ox shrugged, looking at the cat and the rat speculatively. "It's not a big deal if you're gay…"

"I'm not gay!" the cat screeched at the top of his lungs. Yuki finally seemed to snap out of his daze, his own eyes wide as it finally registered just exactly what he had done.

Hatsuharu studied Kyou, head tilting to the side slightly. The cat looked naked, emotionally vulnerable. It was the first time the ox had really seen him that way.

Kyou looked…cute.

"I think I like you," Hatsuharu blurted out, eyes guileless. Kyou looked torn, and hurt, and was immediately out the window and onto the fire escape, trying to get away from his humiliation.

Yuki had put himself back in his boxer briefs and stood in the doorway, seeming indecisive as to what to do, amethyst eyes conflicted.

Hatsuharu, on the other hand, seemed unfazed. "Hello, Yuki. I hope you slept well."

The rat couldn't help but let a little smile touch his lips at the very strange words after what had happened. Haru and Kyou were the weirdest people he knew, and if the cat ever really reciprocated the ox's feelings, it would be the scariest relationship he had ever seen.

* * *

A/N: I have the feeling I should round it out with one more chapter, but I'm not sure to go with that possible second chapter, so holding off on saying it's incomplete for now. Gonna mark it as complete and hopefully a little brainstorming will present me with a second chapter to really complete this for me. :D

Also, I just really, really wanted to write Kyou saying "wank it." XD


End file.
